Last Modified August 7th, 2009

Jeffrey Barnett #957 Stories

Jeffrey Barnett. The man, the legend. Professional Travelling Super Shops Salesman Extraordinaire. The official title was "Special assignment" (Floating) Manager per Jeffrey today. He threatened to come live on my couch if I did not fix this right away.

Jeffrey plied his craft in a most wonderful and entertaining way. His wry sense of humor and unique manner of speech truly entertained everybody from the ultimate hillbilly hicks down south (who could burn up a 605 Unilite module in about 15 seconds, usually in the parking lot) to the street racers in South Miami. And of course, the employees everywhere (including me) had a great time when he was in your store.

Digging up all of this Super Shops stuff has my brain boiling up various memories. I will continue to edit and adjust these pages as my memory serves up more detail.

The interesting thing about Jeffrey is that even though he was in and out from the stores, he *seemed* to always be around. Kind of tough to explain, but it's impossible to think about Super Shops in the South Eastern United States without thinking about Jeffrey and his adventures.


Story 1: Ho Ho Ho

In 1988 or 1989 I had an apartment in Hollywood Florida (between North Miami 074 and Fort Lauderdale 078) and it was very close to Christmas. Jeffrey was in town and we were having a bit of a Christmas party at my apartment. The funny thing was how TINY the apartment was and how many people we had jammed into it. I had a new girlfriend at the time (she would become my wife of 12 years and mother of my two sons eventually, so nobody messed me up at this party at least) and it was comical. Try to visualize just how tiny it was - it was like you had to play Human Tetris to move people around and go from the couch to the bathroom or kitchen. We had music blaring, it was about 50 degrees out, and we had a fully decked out Christmas tree. Jammed right in the middle of everything, a huge loaded Christmas tree.

Everybody who was there was hitting and bumping into the tree and stuff was falling off of it. Everybody was kind of laughing about it, and we were all getting pretty sauced up. After about an hour or so, everybody was laughing and rowdy. I don't really remember exactly what happened next, but I think that Jeffrey bounced up out of this recliner chair to go get something or just to laugh about something, and in one amazing, hilarious, graceful, slow motion move, he loses his footing and swan dives RIGHT onto the Christmas tree! What was even funnier was how absolutely grandiose the fall was - it was like he was wrestling a bobcat. The tree flies all over the room, decorations flying and making clanking sounds, people cracking up as he seemingly continued to fall on it for what seemed like minutes but was only an instant.

Oh man it was classic! If we had taped it I am sure we would have won some prizes for the tape. I still see it in my mind's eye - Jeffrey and the tree locked in a mortal embrace as he topples over on top of it. Jeffrey won. Oh man it was so FUNNY!!!!

He jumped up, brushed himself off, did one of those deals where he kind of stands the toasted tree up and gently pats it so it stays still. Man.

I had the best Christmas ever that year. I will never, ever forget that party.

I wonder who else remembers this event. Anybody?